Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
