I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
