I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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