I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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