I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i dont even know how to be here
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
