doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
My ATM looks so different sober.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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