U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I'm really busy with my period
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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