He told me they were just razor bumps!
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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