My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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