i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
