i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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