apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
