Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
