I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
