remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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