why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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