...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
