Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
