so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
