Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
