4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
