and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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