Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
