She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
