This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Terrible idea I love it
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
