The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize