I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
