We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We left an ass print on the piano.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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