im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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