There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
