We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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