I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
