You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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