today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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