i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
