Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
