Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.

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(613): View more from Ontario

There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.

(613): View more from Ontario

This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?

(613): View more from Ontario

Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.

Fav 13 3128 826
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(702): View more from Nevada

I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.

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(209): View more from California

So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.

Fav 1 50 82
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(828): View more from North Carolina

You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.

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