Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
