Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
