I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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