dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
we're making bets on your personal life
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Randomize
