I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
