My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
porn star boner night. come get it.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
