if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
