Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
how does that bad decision feel?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
