why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
