You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Randomize
