you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
MIDGETS
????
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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