I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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