I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i just wanna soil my oats bro
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
